Breaking News: International Relations Expert Nexon Responds to Leak of Dirty Pictures

May 9, 2011

The Canard
“All the fake news that’s fit to print”

Warning: This story is intended for mature audiences only.
Washington, D.C. — Racy pictures emerged today of noted international relations professor Dan Nexon. The academic, whose book The Struggle for Power in Early Modern Europe: Religious Conflict, Dynastic Empires, and International Change (Princeton University Press, 2009) recently won the International Security Studies Section (ISSS) Best Book Award for 2010, teaches at Georgetown University. The photos were taken while Nexon was a graduate student at Columbia University.


In an exclusive interview with the Canard, Nexon did not deny that it is indeed him in the photos. He attempted to explain the sordid images. “At the time, I was a starving graduate student living in one of the most expensive cities in the world. And everyone knows that Columbia admits as many unfunded students as they can and makes them compete for fellowships. I had to pay the bills somehow.”

Nexon has tenure at Georgetown, but the university has a strict Jesuit code of conduct that its employees must adhere to. It is not clear as to whether Nexon’s actions, which occurred prior to his employment at the university, violate those ethical clauses. The International Security Studies Section is under intense political pressure to revoke his crown. ISSS officer T.V. Paul explained: “Academics are not just figures in the public eye. They are role models to younger graduate students, whether they like it or not. We can’t just overlook this. Celebrity comes with responsibility.”
Those who know Nexon are also distancing themselves from him. Reached for comment, American University professor Patrick Thaddeus Jackson said, “Yes we were in school together, we have co-authored some pieces and we live in the same city. But our relationship is really just professional. I had no knowledge of Dan’s double life. Now please get off my lawn.”
Nexon’s book, which traces how the Reformation destabilized imperial forms of rule, appeared to rave reviews. It appears that with Nexon’s growing notoriety, the struggling photographer who originally snapped the pictures decided to capitalize. The photographer is also penning a tell-all piece for Perspectives on Politics. The journal is not revealing whether the photographer has been paid for the story.
A debate is currently raging on the website Political Science Job Rumors as to whether Nexon is “hot or not.” As of press time, the tally is running in Nexon’s favor. Hits to Nexon’s website, the Duck of Minerva, have surged since the story first leaked on the web.
Ironically, Nexon might have never written his book had it not been for the experience in male modeling. “Just like early European states, I realized I was a ‘composite.’ I am not just an academic, but also a sensual being. That sparked my initial interest in the topic.”
Nexon might have also appeared in an adult film at the time, Smokey and the Beaver, although this has not been confirmed as of press time. The professor had no comment on that issue, referring all questions on the subject to his lawyer.

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Rathbun is a professor of International Relations at USC. Brian Rathbun received his Ph.D. in Political Science from the University of California, Berkeley in 2002 and has taught at USC since 2008. He has written four solo-authored books, on humanitarian intervention, multilateral institution building, diplomacy and rationality. His articles have appeared or are forthcoming in International Organization, International Security, World Politics, International Studies Quartlery, the Journal of Politics, Security Studies, the European Journal of International Relations, International Theory, and the Journal of Conflict Resolution among others. He is the recipient of the 2009 USC Parents Association Teaching and Mentoring Award. In 2019 he will be recognized as a Distinguished Scholar by the Diplomatic Studies Section of the International Studies Association.