Things I like about OSU:

1) Checking books out of the library is like ordering from Amazon. I search a title, author, or somesuch. I select a book. I select “MY OFFICE” as my delivery option. The book shows up in my mailbox in a few days.

2) Parking is cheap. The “A” parking pass is less than half what it costs to park at Georgetown.

3) I have a bigger office, with a window.

Things I don’t like about OSU:

1) The football team is supposed to win games.

2) I’m supposed to care.