I'm pretty sure I'm the only Duck to (a) have lived at a state fair, (b) know the 4-H pledge by heart, and (c) have been quoted by the Watertown, S.D., newspaper on ... well, on any subject, actually. And although I had the misfortune to be born in Washington, D.C., I quickly decamped for America's Heartland, where I learned Real American Values, which include RC Cola, moon pies, and a fondness for country music not sung by the Dixie Chicks....